By Lisa Mulliken
I sometimes drive my five-year-old granddaughter to preschool early in the morning. During our short drive she usually starts off a conversation with, “Mimi, did you know….?” Recently our conversation started with, “Mimi, did you know that fairies are real?” I responded with, “Wow! I’ve never seen a fairy. What do you know about them?” As she talked, I learned so much from her: they hatch from different color eggs and come out the color of the egg they grew in, they can’t fly when they hatch because their wings are too small, they eat crystals and hide from humans. So, how did I learn so much about her interest in fairies? By actively listening and asking open-ended questions that encouraged her to use her imagination and go deeper as she responded.
She has an amazing imagination and I cherish these conversations with her and love to hear about her interests and how she perceives the world. I recently bought a grandmother’s journal where I can share details of my life and document our conversations and the funny things she has said. During some of our most memorable conversations I have learned that: tomatoes are sad when you pick them because they have to leave their families; hedgehogs eat pinecones because that is what they are made of; some babies don’t grow in their mommy’s belly and are dropped off by pelicans instead; you can’t see your dreams when you wake up because they are in your ears; when she grows up she has to be big and strong to fight off owls because they are kind of mean, and that she is very smart because she knows things!
When she is sharing her thoughts and ideas, I try to give her my full attention as I listen, sometimes responding by repeating her response or adding information or descriptive vocabulary to expand her ideas. Our conversations strengthen our bond, grow her confidence, vocabulary, and communication skills, and help her learn more about the give and take of conversation. As adults, we easily get distracted by our busy days and it can be difficult to stop and really give our full attention when a child is talking. When we slow down and actively listen to children, everyday activities and experiences can lead to amazing conversations, wonderful memories, and hilarious stories! Remember, kids are smart because they know things!
