By Michelle Long
Have you ever been shopping with your child? Does it go something like . . . “I want this,” “Can I have this?” “I need this,” “Just one little thing,” “Pleeeaase!!!”
Do you start off with appropriate responses that swiftly escalate alongside the pleading?
“Not today,” “We are just getting a few quick things,” “Maybe next time,” “Please, don’t ask again,” “Did you hear me say NO?”
These types of trips can be stressful on both the adult and the child.
First and foremost, plan your trip appropriately. If you go to the grocery store just before lunch, you will most likely end up with a hungry and cranky shopping partner. If you plan a trip just before nap time, you may be asking for a meltdown.
You may want to start by preparing your child prior to heading out to the store. Set the expectations of the trip in advance. What type of shopping are you doing? Is the child going to be offered a special treat or reward for their behavior? What behavior are you expecting from the child (sitting in the cart, walking alongside the cart, holding your hand, etc.)
When my son was little, we used to plan our shopping trips ahead. I would let him know if it was a trip that included a reward or a trip that was for making a list of ideas. He was always allowed to point out things he liked or ask to stop and look at something he was interested in, but we did not add any special items into the cart until the end of the shopping trip. If he made it through the store with respectful behavior, he would be allowed to select one small item at check out (typically a hot wheels car), on special occasions. Or as a reward for exceptional behavior he would be offered to select one of the items he showed interest in during the shopping experience.
I was recently reminded of the system we had in place, as a friend was sharing her frustration over shopping with her children. For the child that is young school age, I suggested allowing the child to take a notepad/dry erase board into the store to write down a list of things that caught their interest. This will give the child a task to focus on during the shopping trip and build their literacy skills along the way. Adding a column for price can add in some math skills too. Depending on the trip or time of year the child could select one item from their list as a reward (if using the price column, you could say one item under $5.00, etc.) or the list could be added to a wish list for upcoming birthday or holiday celebrations.
Not every trip needs to come with a reward. For trips to the grocery store, asking the child to select one type of snack, or fruit, or any other item on the list allows the child to feel as if they have a choice in the shopping and are helping you with your task as well.
Both of these methods teach the child to plan ahead, make a list, and make a thoughtful selection rather than impulse buying; a skill that will last a lifetime.
For additional reading on shopping with children check out:
12 Tips for Surviving a Trip to the Store with Toddlers
10 Tips for Shopping with Children
Young Children and Shopping
Expert advice on shopping with a toddler: ‘They’re not trying to be naughty.’
